trans voice

the mirror and me - by Chiqui

i walk on thorns to find my self. 
the steps towards the mirror of identity are plenty, heavy, tiring. 
my feet bleed, my heart aches ...
yet, i push on. 

amid the streets of gaze, the blocks of broken bonds, the alleys of threats, the corners of questions, 

i trod.

that mirror i must find.

i pass my past, plow through the present, forge for the future. 

my eyes fill with tears but i see through them.
my head held high, my desire definite, 
my doubts undeniable,
but my spirit unbroken, 
i persist. 

that mirror i must find.

tuning out taunts, hovering over humiliation, ignoring indoctrinations, resisting redicule,
i continue on.

a voice faint but present guides me.
a hand unseen but strong leads me 

in a nook of no-doubts,
in the city of certainty, 
i find what i fought for.

the mirror. in it, me! 

i smile. 

i cry. 

i tremble in joy.

i find me! 

not the face my family finds acceptable,
not the person my bosses deem respectable,
not the body the rest dictates desirable. 

oh no, just me! 

oh beautiful me!